Take this with you

I feel like sometimes I know exactly what's missing and I focus all my energy on it as a lacking...

O man, to be vulnerable in the presence of that unattainable is worth losing over and over again. If patterns represent the grooves we've carved in our brains, I'm walking down an old path. Or possibly I've seen scenery like this somewhere and I've made a connection to sometime long ago that takes me back or threw me again off track.

But beyond knowing is a concentration of every experience I've tried to horde, garnish or strengthen myself with. Tho it always seems with so much effort, at the center, it's just me. I smell my skin and see myself at age 9 and I see myself going head first, heart abandoned into my purpose everytime. For the record, i still have not a clue what that purpose is exactly. Sometimes, I'm...
Most of the time....
Always I think it's love and then I think, "what a lovely idea." and I'm only willing to work at something long enough before it's apparent I need to move on.

But as every path revisited (hopefully whatever dead end you hit last time is a simple obstacle this time around)- the tracks we make become part of the scenery. And if I stand here for just a bit-

I become the scene.

I am the center of it.