Applause

before my restorative yoga class at Mellow Johnny's, I clear the space and get a little practice in for myself. Yesterday was no different. Batman busied himself with checking out all the latest lint on the floor while I opened up the body after a day of deliveries that simulated hill repeats and stop/starts.

step into lunge
back foot moves in, drop the heel, straighten the front leg

and fold......

Parsvottanasana. five breaths and I know where to go next:

back foot lifts:
standing splits.

I got my hands on the ground and my lifted heel kicks up:

handstand
and I start counting breaths. I almost always hold my breath in a handstand cause its too hard to do anything else. this time, i just float, listen as the labored inhale seeps out as the exhale is an afterthought. and this is playing in my head space:



Finally I come down and over the blare of my headphones I hear the distant sound of applause.

My longest handstand to date had an audience and they saw the whole thing. Not only that, they applauded my effort. I look over to see




Batman, my 5lb Chihuahau, walking in my direction. He sat quietly the entire time i floated and soon as I came down shook the effort to sit still, causing his collar and tags to clank together and sound like applause. He walked over bashfully wanting to congratulate me with a wag of his tail, which for his size means his whole bottom half sways back and forth, and a lick.

Gratitude.

Take this with you

I feel like sometimes I know exactly what's missing and I focus all my energy on it as a lacking...

O man, to be vulnerable in the presence of that unattainable is worth losing over and over again. If patterns represent the grooves we've carved in our brains, I'm walking down an old path. Or possibly I've seen scenery like this somewhere and I've made a connection to sometime long ago that takes me back or threw me again off track.

But beyond knowing is a concentration of every experience I've tried to horde, garnish or strengthen myself with. Tho it always seems with so much effort, at the center, it's just me. I smell my skin and see myself at age 9 and I see myself going head first, heart abandoned into my purpose everytime. For the record, i still have not a clue what that purpose is exactly. Sometimes, I'm...
Most of the time....
Always I think it's love and then I think, "what a lovely idea." and I'm only willing to work at something long enough before it's apparent I need to move on.

But as every path revisited (hopefully whatever dead end you hit last time is a simple obstacle this time around)- the tracks we make become part of the scenery. And if I stand here for just a bit-

I become the scene.

I am the center of it.

In a day

Forward reflecting




Lunch breaking




Elevator elevating




Knowing what you're thinking

Location:Congress Ave,Austin,United States

Dear Mama

It's my mom's 49th birthday and she loves 2Pac and I got these rhymes so I wrote this for the occasion:

Dear Mama,

Growing up with this chip on my shoulder
But now I'm growing older
I dont wanna wake up one day and say I shoulda told her
Try and live without regrets
And I'll never forget
Mornings I wept
Crying for my mom cause she left
Ain't no 9-5
When it's do or die
Single mom
waitress' salary
And there's four pair of eyes
I'm sure you asked yourself why?
I know there were so many bad days and pain
I ain't trying to bring up old shit I'm just sayin
I'm amazed at how u did it again and again
Buying me a clarinet
Barely making rent
Pushing me to be better than where we came from
When it comes to people I'd die for, your the only one.
But that's a long ways away and I know you'd never ask
Cause raising us, you always put yourself last.
Well it's your time to shine
And the hard times, they're in the past
Your little boys are men
And I'm going after that cash
So I can get us those things we never had growin up
When we get to heaven we all showing up
Life worked hard, lived well and loved enough
Believe me, I'll take u in when life's too tough
Cause you gave up your life for me
And the least I can do is be the man you raised me to be
Want you to be there when I have my own family
But right now its my turn to struggle
And make flowers bloom from the rubble
So on your birthday, let me take you by the hand
And my plan is to show you that i understand
You are appreciated

Happy Birthday, Mama!

A Brief....

if you ever had to file one of these things at the courthouse, you know they are anything but....

here it goes; I'll try and give you the condensed version of the haps...

A summer of treacherous 2hr astanga practice before the sun rose resulted in one of the best Falls ive had. plus, the weather in austin has been magnificent. i've only mysore'd once since september and it was last week after a private lesson i taught at my house. first time i experienced softening in astanga!

well, i put the yoga practice on vacation so i could let my teaching skills catch up. I been teaching three public classes a week and lately a couple private lessons a week too. Dane's Body Shop and Mellow Johnny's are all classes I got started and are donation based classes. I sometimes teach to an empty room but that little kid inside that screams "save the world!!" has a new toy. Some of the things that come up while I'm teaching are just like the shit that can come up while on the mat as a practitioner . Except, as the teacher I find myself asking, "do i really believe that?" to something i just said. its cool to let myself believe some universal things are floating around up there.

I should also mention that writing yoga sequences is how I try and be a crafty poet these days. call it a new found focus on love for All equalling love for the One or just reliving my high school days when i wrote sappy poetry for the school newspaper: this, i know is the alchemy in yoga asana, infused into my body by Lauran Janes, and how it can reach an entire room of yogis and yogins of differing abilities. everyone has the tools to come closer to alignment...

trying to be brief...

its December and Batman and I have been at the cafe for the last couple of hours enjoying the sunny 70's but the sun is beginning to set finally. wish you could feel it...

Guess i should also mention that I'm back on the bike, riding for a new team, Wooly Mammoth, started by my friend, Patrick Newell. Patrick has been a bike messenger about a year longer than I, and we recently laid down firearms aimed at each other's faces to race and work together. Oh, yea, my company, Beat the Clock, hired our first riders last week! Welcome Patrick and Danny, two guys that compliment the handsome hustling skills of Ian and I. Last week was huge, kinda like starting all over again. But on Friday, when all four of us were banging out orders, I had the feeling that now we are the only ones who will get in the way of our success.

Its a long road and its far from over but im finally not trying to be anywhere, just really caught up enjoying the ride.

whuts knew?

.....is all thats known......

when you practice at putting your life together viscerally daily, you gotta start wondering when it happens in every other paradigm. or if your like me, you start to live the dynamics of both ends. find ground at 6am with 2hr asana and then 2:30am float out the club; sweat-soaked, heart spoke she said she seen it all i said no you didnt.

MoonDay

rooftop sunset
always facing west
movement suggests
a beautiful death
summer storm
somewhere over there
full moon
foolish man
lone star can
guide a heart to bloom